WHAT IS ABSTINENCE?
Abstinence means different things to different people. For a man and a woman who are considering sexual activity which can lead to pregnancy, abstinence refers to not having penis-in-vagina intercourse. For protection against infection, abstinence means avoiding vaginal, anal, and oral-genital intercourse or participating in any other activity in which body fluids (semen, vaginal fluids, blood, and breast milk) are exchanged with another person. On this page abstinence refers primarily to not having vaginal intercourse - where the penis enters the vagina. Some people will use other kinds of touching to satisfy their needs. Others will avoid any kind of touching because it is too tempting.The decision to have sex is your decision, each and every time.
WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES?
- Abstinence is free and available to all.
- It is extremely effective at preventing both infection and pregnancy.
- It can be started or returned to at any time in one’s life.
- Abstinence may encourage people to build relationships in other ways.
- Abstinence may increase the creativity in a relationship as partners find new ways to express intimacy with each other.
- Abstinence may be boost your self-esteem as you are choosing what you consider to be right for yourself.
- Abstinence contributed to a fall in teen pregnancy rates in the ’90s along with increased use of Depo-Provera and Norplant. In the near future, Implanon may be an important new option for teens. Abstinence only sex education programs have been shown not to be effective.
- It has no medical side effects.
- It is cost-effective because there's nothing to buy!
WHAT ARE THE DISADVANTAGES?
- If you’re planning to use abstinence, and change your mind in the heat of the moment, you might not have birth control handy. Some people would like to be prepared and have a condom or spermicide available in case they change their mind. Others feel that having a contraceptive ready and available might tempt them.
- It may be very difficult to communicate clearly with a partner about abstinence
- Some people find not having sex too frustrating, and may feel as though they are "missing out".
- If only abstaining from penis-in-vagina intercourse, there may be no protection against infections transmitted through other activities such as oral and anal intercourse, including herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, and HIV/AIDS.
- Some who choose to no longer abstain may have little knowledge about other methods.
WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE?
What you do sexually is an important decision. Start by thinking it through carefully yourself. You may want to discuss your decision with another person whom you respect. You may want to pray, meditate, or talk it over with your partner. Some churches and sex education programs have organized support groups or curricula for young people wanting to wait until marriage before having intercourse.
FOUR TIME FRAMES IN WHICH TO THINK ABOUT ABSTINENCE:
- Virginity - abstinence until marriage or until a long term relationship. Waiting until marriage can prevent so manjy complications from sexual intimacy and may be the approach an individual feels most comfortable with in terms of his or her spiritual journey.
- Secondary Virginity - return to abstinence until marriage or until a long term relationship. A person can always choode to return to this long-term approach to abstinence. You always have this option even if you have had sexual partners.
- Abstinence for a while - This could be until you are certain you are on an effective contraceptiv, until both of you have been tested for and are not infected with any sexually transmitted disease, or until your partner (or you) returns home from a long trip.
- Abstinence Tonight, Today or NOW!!!! - Each night about 10 million women who do not want to become pregnant have intercourse are completely unprotected (no contraceptive). Abstinence today is what these 500,000 to 1 million women and men would be wise to use - Tonight!!!
WHAT IF I HAVE SEX AND DON’T USE BIRTH CONTROL?
Did you know that for 120 hours after sex, you can take emergency contraceptive pills to avoid becoming pregnant? AND for 5 to 7 days after sex, you can have an IUD put in, so you won’t become pregnant? Emergency postcoital insertion of the Copper T 380 A IUD (ParaGard) is the most effective curently available postcoital contraceptive. Not all clinicians know about this. If you want more information or would like the phone numbers of clinicians near you that prescribe emergency birth control, call the toll-free number: (1-888) NOT-2-LATE. Plan B is the emergency contraceptive pill that causes the least nausea and the least vomiting. | |
